can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
