I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
