Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
