If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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