Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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