Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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