This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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