So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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