I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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