very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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