Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
