Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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