OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
