I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
