I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
smell my finger.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
