Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
