I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
