So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you never un-have a 4some
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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