my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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