I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
