Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
