the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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