i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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