Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
