I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
