Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
