yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
