so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
