hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
