just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
