She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
