i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
