fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
