Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
