I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i think my cat just said my name.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
