my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
that is very illegal...i love you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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