we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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