Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
