ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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