Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
