My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
