Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
tell me about the fingering
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