I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
