Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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