YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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