we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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