Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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