so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize