and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
