My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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