you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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