I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
