the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
