we're blogging at a bar
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
