He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
