I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
