I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
