Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
