I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
