I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
