And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
