Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sober January is a disaster.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
