so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
