I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
