You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize