How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we made out on top of his cat.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
